Welcome to day four of Gents’ Week at Persuasion(get caught up: groom’s emergency kit here, male perspective on First Look here, and tie skills here))! Today we’re addressing important things the groom and groomsmen should know for the wedding day. One of the biggest sources of wedding day frustration seems to be- dare I say it- the groom and groomsmen. Gentlemen, you are not at fault; you likely feel as though you’ve been abandoned on an alien planet full of hostiles, with no map or guide whatsoever. Preparation and planning is largely geared toward the bride, leaving most men in relative darkness about their own wedding. Not only is this approach rather insulting to the groom, it also sets the gentlemen up for logistical failure. Due to lack of knowledge, plans go awry- which causes stress, frustration, and even anger for everyone involved. Fear not, we want to equip you for success! here are the most common problems we see at most weddings- the great news is that these issues are 99% preventable! Here are things the groom and his groomsmen should know for the wedding day.
1.Act Like an Adult
This may sound harsh, and seem obvious- but it is the number one issue professionals, bridesmaids, brides, family members, and guests alike observe in groomsmen. Remember, you are making a huge life decision and taking on one of the biggest responsibilities of your life today- don’t trample the importance of the occasion by reliving your youth with your friends. Dedicate a separate time specifically for that purpose – not on your wedding day or the day before. (For more on this, see here about choosing your groomsmen).
2. Take Responsibility Seriously
Know exactly when you need to be where, what to wear at each location, and transportation logistics involved. Plan backward to give yourself enough time- similar to boarding a plane, give yourself more time than you possibly need. During downtime, don’t spend it drinking, or meandering. The group needs to stay together because much time is wasted in pursuit of stray groomsmen.
Pay strict attention at the rehearsal- you are responsible for knowing every piece of information given that evening, as it directly relates to your role in the wedding. If you are unclear about something, ask! Ask again- and again, if necessary. It’s probably not your fault if you don’t know something, but is definitely your responsibility to get answers.
3.Hire a Coordinator
The biggest lifesaver is hiring a wedding coordinator! He or she and their team will make sure all the timeline logistics are met, that each of you has/ knows the timeline, and that lack of knowledge on your part doesn’t impose on someone else’s wedding duties or experience. Treat your family and friends with due respect- don’t make them your gopher to find out what’s going on… that is part of what a wedding coordinator covers.
4.Elevate Your Tux Game
One of the most crucial things the groom and groomsmen should know for the wedding day is, Do NOT pick up suits/ tuxes the day of the wedding! Doing so destroys timelines, scatters people, and if a mistake has been made- frankly, you’re SOL.
Also, know how to style your attire. Discuss in advance what kind of knot your tie needs, how to fold a pocket square, where to place it, how to put on your bouttonniere, where is goes, and be sure to have a stash of bouttonniere pins on hand because there are never enough.
5.Agree on Cigars, etc, in Advance
Confer with your bride and coordinator what is the best time for you to enjoy a celebratory cigar or scotch. Generally, it should never be immediately before or after the ceremony (it ruins logistics, risks impairment, and leaves you smelling dreadful). Formal portraits also take place during this time and it is unfair to leave an entire group waiting for you to reappear.
When it’s time for pictures, please just leave your drinks behind. We always lose precious time trying to move, hide, and pry away cups and cans. Leave them where they are, come do pictures for a few designated minutes, then return to your libations.
We hope you feel a little more empowered, and confident with things the groom and groomsmen should know for the wedding day!